Saturday, May 28, 2011

Conventional Dating

Women have come a long way, I mean a LOOOOONG way, in the past 50+ years, and let me be the first to say that I am all for that. I commend it. I admire it and I can’t imagine having lived in an era where women couldn’t do (or didn’t have the option to do) what men could. However, I think that the problem with most women is that they say they want to be equals, but they don't want to be COMPLETELY equal. They want the liberty to be selectively-equal, i.e. choose which situations they would like to share responsibilities with men. I think that is connerie (bullshit in French). The way I see it if you want to ride a man’s horse you should scrape up the horse’s shit too (don't ride the horse but expect a man to clean up after it). And this is exactly how I feel when it comes to dating…

Up to a few short years ago (when courtship wasn’t just an old people’s word) dating took place when a guy asked a girl out. He would probably ask her parents’ permission, take her to a movie and probably have something to eat after that (all of which he would pay for by the way). Let’s forget the part about asking the parents’ permission and focus on the part where He pays for everything (cause let’s face it parents are no longer an integral part of the courtship process, in fact you're lucky to hear about a guy asking a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage…an entirely different topic in its own…)

So yes… he pays for everything. Now I have friends who claim to be die-hard feminists (DHFs), and those same friends also seem to be die-hard conventional daters (DHCDs). However their die-hard conventional dating is only based upon and centered on the he-pays-for-everything principle (HPFEP). Now, am I the only person who’s seeing that, that equation just does not and cannot ever add up?

I think that in this day and age, dating should not be solely based on the HPFEP. I think that as women we should proudly and willingly step up to the paying plate and cut those guys some slack. And this has nothing to do with inflation, and how the price of living has gone up, because even though back-in-de-day $5 or $10 could have gotten you 2movie tickets, 2decent meals and 2drinks (plus transport), back-in-de-day $5 or $10 dollars was a lot of money to spend on anything. The point is TIMES CHANGE and just as we have adapted currency-wise we need to adapt dating-wise as well.

I know girls who, if I even dare mention them paying to take a guy they interested in to see a movie, they will bawl bloody murder. They will act as though I have asked them to commit a crime that will surely land them in jail for the rest of their precious lives. They will ask what it is I take them for, and that if man want woman he should pay the bill. Come on ladies, sorry to say you sound ridiculous and stupid, even to a fellow woman as myself. I am not saying that women should always pay but I do insist that there be compromise.

If you have been dating a guy for a while why can’t you offer to take him to a movie, or offer to go Dutch (split the bill) or even offer to pay the transport (if you are travelling) while he foots the bill. What is so wrong with that? I must say, that I have never been a conventional dater, swearing by the HPFEP. I have always had it in the back of my mind that I am a university student. My parents mind me. I get an allowance every month. What should make me feel that I am so special for some guy’s parents to give him money to spend casually on me? Yes it is nice to be wined and dined and yes I do believe that men should treat their women, but ladies, by no means do I think that you should expect it all the time. Just ask any man and I think they will tell you that putting some sort of effort into the bill paying is a HUGE turn on for them and one that they definitely appreciate. Men, am I lying???

Now men, if you thought that you were gonna get away without a bashing, stop kidding yourselves (love yall lol). The down side of feminist dating is that some of you don't know how to appreciate a woman footing the bill. Let me make something clear; if a woman decides to treat you, if she pays for the movie tickets, splits the bill, pays your transport and even throws in a little extra something (either all in one date or on different occasions) by all means do not turn into a nasty stinking dutty good-for-nothing piece of shit that decides to never pay for anything again! Because believe me, if a girl sees that for the past two or three dates she has been stuck with all financial responsibility with no effort on your part, she will probably NEVER think to feminist date with you EVER again and you would have surely lost a good woman. I will admit to having been in a situation like that and though I can laugh about it now, trust me, I was f#