Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Michael Patrick O'hara

I sit here
In the dark
as i wait for you
going over the events of the past few weeks
envisioning your smile
longing for your touch
knowing that you too long for mine
but it does not make sense
none of it does
as you tell me that i wont undertand
and you are right
i wont
i dont understand how so many months of
and openiness
and acceptance
can be thrown away
no explaination or excuses
not even a sign
and i am left here
by myself
without you
to face the world yet again
on my own
with out you
trying to fogure out what could i have said or done
that drove you to abandon me
although you assure me
that your decision
YOUR decision
had nothing to do with what i am or what i am not
and it kills me to think
that you yourself may be grieved by this sudden turn of events
and i wonder what may have happened to you
or your friends
or your family
that could have driven you to such a drastic action
because this does not seem like you
i was not expecting this
anyone but you
any other person BUT you
would i have attributed such a selfish
hurtful act
but not from you
and still
even as my heart hurts
and my soul pours unto the emptiness and harshness of realty
and even as the tears come slow but thick
and even as the sadness covers me like a thick blanket of desperation
i cannot help but love you
i cannot help but wait for you
i cannot help but hope that one day you will find me again
and maybe this time
i will be beautifull enough
intelligent enough
loving enough
to make you stay

1 comment:

  1. it doesn't matter how beautiful or intelligent or loving you are to a human. if the human wants to leave... [sadly] they will. don't be beating up trying to question the logic, trying to understand. humans have their own reasons. thething to do is file this experience away and adapt.