Sunday, October 18, 2009

Seen but not heard

Little girls must be seen but not heard
And i dont know why
But it brought tears to my eyes
Everytime that she said this to me
Because it always made me question
"Who am I?
And why arent i important enough to be heard?"
Arent my cries just as devine
Or am i to be cast aside
Only to be paraded as a doll
Beautiful, with nothing worth saying
Pretty, yet of a lesser mind
And maybe i shouldnt be crying but
I cant shake the feeling that
I'm being gagged and binded
But if only you can hear my thoughts
Then maybe you would love me more
But little girls must be seen but not heard
So maybe i shouldnt be a little girl anymore
Maybe i should become a woman
Spread my wings and fly
With words that are colourful enough
To create a sky of endless possiblilites
Words that are no longer words
But visions that give hope to a brighter tomorrow
But for now
I cant program my mind
To be someone that i'm not
And if speaking my mind means that
I'd be punished, belittled and shunned
Then i guess this is goodbye
Because no woman made history
By being quiet
And you maybe thinking that i'm crazy
For wanting more than mediocrity
But only shooting stars can break the mold
And before i leave this earth
I want to leave my mark on this world

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Men are DOGS... Women are BITCHES...

Life is a is love and heartbreak. One stone thrown into a pond, creates ripples that move outward, affecting everything that the vibrations of its existence touches...

Take for example:

Good boy meets bad girl... bad girl used to be a good girl who happened to be with a bad boy... bad girl got hurt and now decides to treat good boy as the bad boy treated her...good boy gets hurt...good boy turns into bad boy...bad boy is a dog...

Good girl meets bad boy... bad boy treats good girl as bad girl treated him...good girl gets hurt...good girl turns into a bad girl as well..bad girl is a bitch

We are all equally responsible for the mess that our relationships seem to be in... simply put... Men are DOGS... Women are BITCHES... THAT'S why we go so well together...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Michael Patrick O'hara

I sit here
In the dark
as i wait for you
going over the events of the past few weeks
envisioning your smile
longing for your touch
knowing that you too long for mine
but it does not make sense
none of it does
as you tell me that i wont undertand
and you are right
i wont
i dont understand how so many months of
and openiness
and acceptance
can be thrown away
no explaination or excuses
not even a sign
and i am left here
by myself
without you
to face the world yet again
on my own
with out you
trying to fogure out what could i have said or done
that drove you to abandon me
although you assure me
that your decision
YOUR decision
had nothing to do with what i am or what i am not
and it kills me to think
that you yourself may be grieved by this sudden turn of events
and i wonder what may have happened to you
or your friends
or your family
that could have driven you to such a drastic action
because this does not seem like you
i was not expecting this
anyone but you
any other person BUT you
would i have attributed such a selfish
hurtful act
but not from you
and still
even as my heart hurts
and my soul pours unto the emptiness and harshness of realty
and even as the tears come slow but thick
and even as the sadness covers me like a thick blanket of desperation
i cannot help but love you
i cannot help but wait for you
i cannot help but hope that one day you will find me again
and maybe this time
i will be beautifull enough
intelligent enough
loving enough
to make you stay

Friday, August 28, 2009

I Write Because it Keeps Me Sane

In a world

Where everything we say is criticised

And where everything we do is scorned

It is a miracle

That such a thing as love

Can exist

Too many days are marked

By blood, hate and anger

Too few people know of happiness

Mothers who are unable to cope

Fathers who are unwilling to care

Too many children hunger

For love, acceptance and a family

Where do I belong?

My voice is but a whisper in the night

Who am I to you?

Why must I fight for my voice to be heard?

Why must we fight to be noticed?

Why must we compete for love?

And so I write...

Because it keeps me sane

And I write...

Because it keeps me happy

And I write...

Because when I need someone to listen

And there's noone there...

I listen to myself...


If Only
You can feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I am with you
You will feel confused
Does that even make sense
Or are you just going to continue to pretend
That what I feel does not even matter
And don’t even try to deny
That I can’t even get you to look past me
Because, in fact, you look right through me
With eyes
That aren’t even man enough
That don't even have the balls enough
To admit that you are incapable of loving anyone
But yourself
Especially me
Because at least, you play with them
But who would I rather be
Your play thing
Or the woman looking in
Fully aware of where you stand
Allergic to your crap
But still
The thought crosses my mind
Because I believe that what I feel for you
Is True Love
Because I accept you for who you truly are
A man incapable of loving anyone
Especially yourself
If Only
You can feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I am with you
You will feel that I have more than enough love
To love you
Enough for the both of us
Enough to love everyone whom you never loved
Meaningless words
Empty gazes
Silly phrases
Two hundred and ninety-two days of agonizing pain
Watching you
As you watch her
Watching you
Watching her
The way that i long for you to watch me
If Only
You can feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I am with you
You will feel like a fool
A damn fool
A.K.A. a hopeless romantic
But I am only hopelessly romantic for you
Capable of putting up with your crap
Incapable of walking away
Afraid to look you in the eyes
Because I know that inside
There will never be room for me in your life
If Only
If... Only
You can feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I feel
What I feel
When I am with you
You will feel that it is time to grow up
Time to wipe the tears from your eyes
Time to love me
More than you can ever love me
More that I can ever love you
If you can't even look past me
How can you see me
To love me...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

How to tell if your man has another woman...

About a week ago, one of my dearest friends posted the following question in a facebook note... "How do you know if your man/woman has another man/woman?"...

In the heat of the moment, I was able to pull together about eight tell tale signs that were sure to give away any cheating man. Being that I am "only" nineteen years old many may wonder and ask the questions; "what do you know about love?"... and "what do you know about spotting a cheating man?"... Well, while I may say that I am not the most experienced or qualified person to answer this, I will admit that I have had my fair share of relationships, love and YES infidelity!

And from my PERSONAL experience, here are Eight Ways To Tell If Your Man Has Another Woman:

1) As women, we all have the ability to sense when something just isn't right. You may not have any actual evidence or proof of a cheating partner, but the fact that you "feel" that something isn't right, is a red-flag in itself. however, many women are afraid of being labelled as paranoid, so they often cast aside such feelings and try to convince themselves that they are just being silly.... PEOPLE, many people may agree that instinct is a sure fire way of knowing that your partner is cheating or that even if he isnt, something serious is taking place.

2) You may find yourselves spending less and less time together. If you used to see your partner four times a week, now you may only see him once (if you are lucky). You will also find that he calls last minute to cancel plans because "something came up at work" or he has "a family emergency". Although these situations do happen in real life, what identifies a cheating partner is that these situations happen to occur frequently.

3) He WILL accuse you of cheating. Too many times have I heard of women being baggered by their partners about their whereabouts and being accused of cheating, only to find out that in the end it was really their partner who was engaing in an outside relationship. This happens to be a very common trait in cheating partners as it is a mechanism used to divert your attention away from him and unto yourself. Instead of looking at HIS behaviour and HIS dishonesty, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out what YOU could possibly be doing to appear to be unfaithful.

4) He will constantly call to find out where you are and what you are doing. A lot of people may actually argue that this is NOT a reason to think your partner is cheating and may consider that he is probably just missing you and wants to make sure that you are ok. Somehow, I cannot see how receiving a call or text every half hour, asking about your whereabouts, is heathly in anyway and I will consider the possibility that maybe... just maybe... he wants to know where you are to ensure that you are no where near where he really is.

5) He will talk to you about the other woman, refering to her as his "stalker"... his "really good friend"... or, my personal favourite, his "crazy ex-girlfriend". She will be the woman you always happen to hear about, even if you are never the one to bring it up.

6) You might actually meet the other woman, and when you do, you will know it is her because your partner will do either one of two things...
(a) he will introduce you to her as his "friend" and later you will have a dispute where he will argue that he simply "forgot" to put the "girl" infront of the "friend"... OR ...
(b) he will introduce you to her by your name and your name alone, without any addition of a title such as girlfriend, lover or anything of the sort.
Instinct will inform you that something about that introduction was not right and durinf such a meeting, do not expect any hugs, kisses or romantic gestures from your partner.

7) In extreme cases, there will be one or two periods, lasting two to three days each, where you will NOT hear from your man. No text messages. No calls. Not even a telepathic feeling... And when you do hear from him, he will simply say that he was really sick and too weak to pick up the phone to text or call.

8) Last but not least (and my personal favourite), you will know your man has another woman when you have a stupid man, who cannot multi-task, and you catch him in the act. At this point in time, he will prove himself to be even more stupid by trying to deny the evident facts...

Thank you for reading, and as I said before, this was written and based on personal experience so if there anything I seemed to have left out, comments and suggestions are most welcomed...

Friday, August 21, 2009


Are unlike anything
That I have ever experienced
Like the sun
I feel your sweet words
So carefully chosen and manipulated
Strung together by the threads of time
Like I imagine your thin lips to be
Like the taste of your skin upon my lips
Yet complex in the messages that they convey
Each day
I arise to the thought of you
Filled with hope, lust and bewilderment
How can love be
So pure
So true
So present
In two people
Separated by oceans
Bonded by curiosity and imagination
Only as true as one imagines it to be
Emotions entwined with words
Words that do not fall upon ears
But rather seep through two souls
Yearning yet patient
Silent yet bold
All sense of self seems to unfold
As I gravitate towards you
In a desperate attempt to make you mine
A gift that I long for you to give to me
The emotional can only take one so far
Drowing in dreams and fantasies
Hoping you'd save me
Or atleast come with me